The High Value Woman (Inner happiness)

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Hello friends! Today's blog post is a follow-up to a video I posted several days ago. This is a first video of a series of videos that I will be sprinkling-in throughout the upcoming week surrounding the theme of striving to be a high-value woman. As we work through this topic, we will begin to deconstruct the nature and values of the high-value woman. My ultimate goal, is that by the end of the series you will be able to concretely define the high-value woman.

I believe that striving to be a high-value woman is a continuous lifetime process. You can always improve, even after you have found your spouse; human nature seeks progress and this can be an incredibly beautiful thing. It is important that we continue to improve for the sake of our relationships and children, and to serve as positive role-models for other women.

Below is a quick summary of some of the tips discussed throughout the video. Love you all! xo

Inner happiness

The high value woman is able to be independently happy. She walks with purpose and ease. Her happiness radiates as a type of welcomeness. People are usually awe struck by her happiness, because it is so dimly opposite so what we usually see in the world. This is what makes her intriguing and special. 

A) Awakening - The realization that you are responsible for your own happiness is essential in building inner-happiness. I encourage you to meditate or pray on this issue, depending on your beliefs. If you are a Christian, understanding that a significant portion of your happiness is found in Christ, will be one of your greatest lifetime motivators. You can also incorporate affirmations into your daily routine - for example, exclaiming that you are happy. Please read/watch my Habit Formation article/video here.

B) Slow living - Adopting aspects of minimalism helped me live in the moment. I began to slow down, as I made time for those I loved through the process of being less "stuff obsessed".

C) Gratitude - I am a naturally pessimistic person - keeping it real here ladies. The positive angle to this, is that I am well versed in the everyday practice of practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a mindset, where you implement moments of thankfulness throughout you day. Stop and take a look at your life and your surroundings. I guarantee that there is at least one thing that you can feel thankful for, even in the hardest moments. Remember to implement 3 things on the daily that are for YOU (read/watch it here).

E) Personal responsibility - Begin taking the blame for your own actions. Realizing that you are the captain of your own life, is incredibly liberating. This allows you to make mistakes and correct them. There are of course tragic circumstances, that we cannot control (this is not what I am talking about). Remember, a good person realizes what they have done wrong and takes the steps to correct themselves. A bad person realizes what they have done wrong, but continues on the same path.

F) Grief - There are certain things in life that we cannot control. Set aside time to grieve, depending on the magnitude of the problem. I like to constructively set aside a few hours, days or moments, where I can ponder my sadness - once that time is up, I make the decision to focus on something else until my next allowed period of grief. Come to terms with the fact that you may never "get over" said thing, but that your circumstance does not have to rob you of all joy. There is incredible peace in acceptance.

G) Who you are - I truly believe in the power of living in alignment with your core values. This is why I am so passionate about women choosing to express their femininity and reject the "masculine= the only successful path for women" narrative. Make the decision (NOW) that you will begin showing the world all facets of your soul and personality.

Mental Health Homemaking: Cleaning

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Hello sweet friends! Today, I am talking about a very important subject. I am sharing with you a portion of my experience with an anxiety disorder and how I used cleaning as an adjuvant therapy on my road to "rehabilitation". Cleaning remains such a big part of my day, since it is the most important task by which I can exercise control and keep my cortisol levels at bay (that nasty stress hormone).

We know that 2 in 5 women worldwide will experience some type of mental health issue at some point in their lives. These conditions disempower us, and wreak havoc in our lives. A cluttered and dirty space is often a reflection of the disarray present in our minds. In addition, our space is closely tied to our identity due to the nature of our personal choices. It is therefore essential that we take initiative in caring for our space in raising our self-esteem.

Studies show that animals with clean environments tend to prosper, and humans surrounded by pleasant smells and decluttered spaces exude happiness.

It is important to note that EVERYONE can use cleaning as a tool to minimize stress. Nobody is immune to tragedy and hardship. I also wanted to encourage women of all ages to engage in homemaking. Whether you live with your parents and you are responsible for your own room or you live in a large family home, cleaning can be a helpful tool in your journey toward stability.

In the video, I discussed the importance of movement in triggering "happy hormones" in your daily routine. When you are dealing with a mental health issue, a few seconds of joy and satisfaction can provide you with the encouragement you need to make it through the hard times. Cleaning is also an excellent way see a project through from start to finish. When suffering from a mental illness, we often feel worthless. Being able to accomplish something can serve as needed motivation.

As for the tips, I wanted to provide you with a bullet point list. Please watch the video if you want elaboration on each.

  • Choose 3 SIMPLE cleaning tasks to accomplish everyday
  • Write these 3 tasks on a piece of paper or in a notebook. Re-write them everyday. Make sure they are written in a visible place (next to the coffee machine, on your fridge, on your nightstand, etc.)
  • These tasks must take 5 minutes or less
  • Choose VISIBLE tasks - for example, vacuuming your main living space, wiping down the counters, scrubbing your sink 
  • Once you have gone through at least one successful week (I encourage 2 or more) where you have completed your 3 tasks everyday, you can choose new tasks. 
  • You can also add 1 bonus task per day (5 minutes), that will contribute to a larger goal (for example, a clean kitchen). For example, wiping down the kitchen cabinets today, and wiping down the fridge shelves tomorrow or over the course of 2 days. 
  • Hire or ask family and friends for help in cleaning your home thoroughly once, acting like a "reset". You can take it from there with your 3 things.
  • Make sure that you do something before cleaning that subconsciously sets the tone for your cleaning - like a form of ritual. This could include putting in some essential oils into your diffuser, or putting on some music. I suggest something of low stimulus that helps calm the mind - for example, classical music (no lyrics) (my favorite playlist is "Classical Music for Reading" on Spotify). 

A Day in the Life of a Real Housewife

Monday, July 22, 2019

Happy Monday lovely friends! Today, I am bringing you another vlog! These videos surprisingly take the longest to edit, so I would definitely appreciate it if you would LIKE the video (especially if you actually enjoyed it). I value your feedback so much. I cannot believe that you are all so kind enough to support my videos - you are all angels! 

*I announced my official posting schedule in this video. I will be posting every Monday and Thursday at 12:00 EST. Make sure to subscribe, because I will occasionally be posting bonus videos throughout the week*

As promised in the video, here are the important notes...

Etiquette tip
Refrain from asking people financial questions, UNLESS they are your dear friend or family member. Even asking someone what profession they do, can be seen as quite intrusive due to the nature of our society and the high value of socioeconomic status. Instead, ask "backhanded" questions - for example, "What industry are you in?". As feminine women who value homemaking, this is especially important due to our desire to form genuine and comfortable relationships. Also, who wants to even be asked about work when they are not at work? Not many people do!

Today's Routine
Baking bread
Walk/run with my dogs
Everyday cleaning routine
Picking up my mom and going shopping for "house things"
Picking up dinner
Etiquette tip
Showing you thrifted Pyrex

Bread Recipe (1.5-2 pounds)
1 cup of water
3 cups of flour (whole wheat)
1tsp yeast (1 packet)
1tsp salt
1tsp oil
1/4 cup of brown sugar

One Coffee

Cleaning Supplies
Bar Keepers Friend
Dyson V7 Animal
Method Squirt and Mop Floor Cleaner

Why be feminine?

Friday, July 19, 2019

Hello lovely friends! I am slightly behind on the blog posts since I have been working on new video content for the upcoming weeks. I am hoping to get three new entries up for you in the upcoming days. I have noticed that the traffic on the blog has increased, and I am so happy to see that our little community is growing!

If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube Channel, I would absolutely love it if you did! Every time I refresh my feed and see a new follower/comment/like from one of you, it makes my heart burst with joy! I am so passionate about the movement that we are trying to make on this platform and I am so blessed to know you likeminded women.

Now, let's dive in to the topic of this entry/video. There is so much valuable advice on the internet about the ways you can express your femininity. What I have noticed however, is that there exists a lack of reasoning as to why we should seek to develop our femininity. 

My journey into discovering and developing my femininity happened as a result of burnout. As someone who went through this very turbulent time, I am always seeking to help prevent women from finding themselves in a similar situation. For this reason, I am hoping that the following tips will serve as basis for motivation on your journey in developing your femininity. I encourage you to go through the Femininity section on my blog after reading this, since it will help you take the next steps. 

Before I proceed, I want to acknowledge the importance of femininity and masculinity as complementary. This is a wonderful thing - just take a look at scientific law (opposites attract). One is not meant to be inherently better than the other. The issue lies more in the concept of balance. Operating from overpowering masculine energy as a biological female is going to, on average, take a toll on your spirit and mental health, due to the simple nature of not living in alignment with who you were born to be.

I am aware of the femininity and masculinity as a social construct debate, and this entry isn't meant to explore that topic... today. For the purpose of our conversation we are going to assume that, on average, women are designed to operate largely from their feminine energy. This does not mean that we do not possess masculine energy. Again, we are dealing with the issue of balance. Our personal balance may differ from someone else’s, even though we may share the same sex. The goal in developing our femininity is to discover our own perfect balance.

As we "progressed" through the 20th century, there existed a movement for the rejection of femininity. Femininity was determined to be a contributor in women’s oppression - women were believed to have been trapped by their feminine traits. Masculine traits are largely associated with monetary gain in our modern word; therefore, it is only rational that many women pushed aside their femininity in the pursuit of traits that allowed them to achieve societal success. The issue lies in the fact that very few people stopped to think about the repercussions of this rapid movement or to question if it indeed led to true happiness. In my opinion, we merely traded in the shackles of femininity for the constraints of a job. In my eyes, this doesn't exactly spell-out liberation. 

When you think about it, we are kind of living in a large social experiment when it comes to women living in their masculine. Masculine traits in females is a phenomena that is so now so heavily praised, that it makes it difficult for women to find a safe space to nurture their femininity. Many of us don’t even know where to start, as we are perpetually engrained with the notion that our femininity is a form of weakness contributing to our oppression. We could probably talk about the origins and societal implications of this all day, but that would require a longer entry/video. There are countless others that make an excellent argument on this topic out in the YouTube and blogging world and I encourage you to go look for them. 

Without further ado, here are a few reasons I believe developing your femininity is a worthwhile endeavour.

Why be feminine? 

1.     Feminine Power
Activating your feminine side garners you a type of freedom. When you are living in alignment with the way in which you body was created, you are living your truest life - a life that will provide you with a sense of wholeness.

Biologically, women are the physically weaker sex, but this does not mean that they are not powerful. Female power is now often confused with masculine traits: muscles, access to financial resources, competition, progress. Desiring these things isn't always a negative thing, but they do impede us from living femininely if they remain the only ways in which we measure our success.

Living in your feminine will allow you to harness your biology to your advantage. Fostering deep bonds, influencing others through genuine compassion, etc., are all examples of feminine power. Having the ability to bring people together is very manipulative (good and bad). Once you activate your feminine power, you will be surprised to see how some of your deepest desires will come to fruition through the magnetism of being able to bring people together.

2. Relationships
If you are wary about living in your feminine, I challenge you to atleast strive to do so in your intimate relationship. You don’t have to believe me when I say that it is an excellent way to build a strong marriage; I challenge you to look at the data and try it yourself. Masculinity and femininity are equal and complementary. One is not controlling the other - they are merely working together, filling in personality gaps (strengths/weaknesses). Please throw away your belief that masculinity is inherently controlling- you are mistaking masculine leadership for sociopathic greed.

3. Homemaking
Femininity will help you become a better homemaker due to the nature of the tasks themselves. Creativity is an obvious feminine trait that can benefit your homemaking - for example, beautifying your surroundings and being resourceful. If you’re married or preparing for marriage, this is a huge asset for your husband. Opposite to what culture depicts of the wife who spends her rich husband's money, masculine, successful men do not condone frivolousness and they tend to be very concerned with successful long-term financial decisions. Your lack of care toward money will not impress this man.

In addition, homemaking has to do with exercising the practice of “caring for” things and people. You can discipline yourself in learned homemaking skills, to exercise a higher standard of “caring for”. Caring is not synonymous with compassion, but careful habits can lead to the development of strengths that elicit this virtue.

A day in the life of a housewife

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Happy Sunday my lovely friends! If you hadn't had the chance to check-out my Vlog (posted about a week ago), I linked it down below. It takes you through a rather atypical day in my life - I had minimal chores to do, ran one errand (went to the grocery store) and tried a new facial (Silk Peel). My typical days tend to be slightly dull and very busy - I will show you that another time. 

I'd love for you to watch it and subscribe to my channel! This was a rather "fun" video. Liking and commenting on videos like these, helps other women find the more "important" topics on my channel; I wanted to thank all of you who had done so. I am so happy to have chatted with all of you new followers! Wishing you so much love and happiness as you begin the new week! 

As always, here is the quick run-down of the video, for all those of who you prefer reading. :)

A day in the life of a housewife
1. I always begin my day with a morning walk. My dogs are very energetic, if you haven't noticed by the barking in my videos (LOL). 

2. I don't usually curl my hair on the regular, but I decided to do so today. I use a basic Conair curling iron. 

3. I knew I would be "out and about" today, so I opted to cook a crockpot dinner. You can find the recipe here. I usually eat pita bread and hummus for lunch - I sometimes eat the hummus with veggies, if I have fresh ones available. I like to make myself a larger salad for dinner to go along with the main course overnight. 

4. If you watched my first Vlog, you will know that I use the Method Daily Granite Cleaner almost everyday. I love the smell of this stuff. 

5. My errands consisted of visiting the post office and then grabbing a few items at the grocery store. I usually make a quick shop in the middle of my week, to stock up on items that are running low and/or fresh produce. I do a larger weekly shop on Fridays or Saturdays. I mentioned that I absolutely love the One Coffee brand - plus, it's organic and Fair Trade. 

6. I got a Silk Peel facial that day. You can find out more about it here. My skin felt very dewy afterward. It made a difference in terms of the blackheads in my cheek area. I am going to begin getting this every month (long-term review interest anyone?). 

7. I brought you through my daily cleaning routine. I unloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed and washed the floors and washed my sink with Vim (I don't recommend this harsh of a product if you wash produce in your sink). 

I like to use the Bissell Crosswave Pet for those everyday cleanings - I prefer to detail clean my floors with a swimmer, whenever possible. I would however recommend it, since it is a time-saver. 

8. I briefly mentioned my "holy grail" notebook, that I use to organize my everyday life. I will share this with you in an upcoming video. Please "like" the video to let me know that you're interested in seeing that!

How to have good conversation

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Hello lovely virtual friends! If you had the chance to watch the video I posted yesterday, THANK YOU! For those of you who prefer reading, I wrote this complementary blog post on the topic. It appears that most people currently enjoy the blog more than video, based on the fact that I'm still getting much more traffic on my website in comparison - perhaps you don't like my voice (I'd like to think it's rather the fact that you enjoy reading, LOL). 

If you haven't had the chance to visit my youtube channel, please do! If you like anything you see, please "like" and "subscribe", since it helps other women find my message. I cannot express how grateful I am to all of you! :) 

The topic of yesterday's video deals with having good conversation. This is an essential component of good homemaking and developing your femininity, since both are rather "people-centric". The purposeful homemaker - and the feminine woman - "cares for" her home, in addition to those who inhabit it. It is quite evident that people will not want to be present in your home and/or your social sphere, if you cannot have good conversation. Developing good conversation skills is therefore a foundational concept in purposeful homemaking and exuding feminine energy. 

I share these tips in the video:

1. Body language
I encouraged you to imagine that you have an invisible line parallel to the tips of your shoulders. You want to try to keep your hands and arms outside of these set points, to assume an open and feminine position. You do not want to cross your arms in front of you, nor place them below your belly-button (in your private area). You want to imagine that you are being pulled-up by a string on the top of your head, so that your chest can remain in an open position. 

We must be aware of the fact that we are animalistic beings, and must operate with that in mind. Failing to keep an open position, signals to the other person that you are not ready to receive their message and make connection with them. Be able to receive energy from another is a very feminine attribute.

2. Minimize distraction
Remember to make eye-contact and look at that person from the neck/chest upward. When you are looking at other parts of a person's body during conversation, you are essentially demonstrating that you are pre-occupied with something else of greater importance. You want to minimize the use of your phone, engaging in abrupt body movement, and/or causing any significant noise distraction. If you are awaiting an important call/message, make sure to excuse yourself beforehand.

3. Ask prompting questions 
Many of us think we know how to ask effective conversational questions. The truth is however, that we often fail to ask questions that prompt further conversation. The example I used was not to solely ask someone about their favorite hobby, but rather to ask them what they enjoy doing in their free time. This gateway question will allow for you to later ask a variety of more detailed prompting questions.

4. Do not dominate the conversation
Calming your mental dialogue is a skill. We are often busy thinking of the next thing to say in conversation. Calm your mind by taking a breath and counting up to 2 - this will help you refocus on what the person is saying.

5. Smile
I structured this apart from body language, because it is a much more simplistic thing to do. You may still be working on breaking those bad body language habits, but it is much easier to incorporate smiling into conversation as you are simultaneously working on those other skills. 

In addition, smiling exudes feminine energy, which breeds feelings of comfort. This allows for excellent conversation.

Everyday Feminine Tips

Monday, July 8, 2019

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Fourth of July and/or Canada day! If you are in a different country and did not celebrate those, I am wishing you a wonderful week! :) Thank you to all of my new subscribers and followers. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am, and how excited I am to grow our community. If you haven't yet subscribed to my new youtube channel, I would love it if you did! :) 

Today, I wanted to share with you some general tips that will help you exude femininity in your daily life – some tips that you can apply in your life NOW. The core areas that must be developed when striving to be complete feminine woman are extensive and must be developed over time. For today however, I thought I would share with you 5 practical ways in which you can begin expressing your femininity. Beginning these actions will help you feel empowered in your journey toward further developing your femininity, as they will enable you to feel an immediate sense of accomplishment.  

As always, if you prefer to watch the video, you can do so below. As you may have noticed, by videos and blog posts are similar but not quite identical - my goal is that you take away something unique from each. 

1.   Relax

To generate a clearer picture of the way in which you should be striving to be as a feminine woman, can sometimes be accomplished by thinking of the opposite. The opposite tends to feel rushed, pushy and always "on the go". Operating from a place of continuous action, in comparison to being present in the moment – easing through the tasks in your life with a genre of effortless flow. This does not deal with laziness, but is rather characterized by your leading attitude. Apart from perhaps re-evaluating if you are stretching yourself too thin, there are things that you can do today that will help you better relax. I strongly recommend becoming familiar with the practices that help reduce anxiety – deep breathing, muscle tension exercises, body scan meditation. A quick google search of these, and you are well on your way. 

2.    Smile
This adheres to the practice of "faking it until you make it"; in a positive way. When I used to perform professionally I would make a point to smile and simultaneously let out a subtle laugh. Even though I was completely nerve-wracked, the more I smiled and practiced laughing, the more this habit became a ritual. 

The mere act of smiling tends to trick your body into thinking that you are actually happy. The physicality of it - triggering muscles in the face - releases endorphins that in turn actually make you feel joyful  Whether you have to smile by yourself in a bathroom stall or at your phone pretending your looking at a funny video, I challenge you to practice smiling.

When you radiate happiness you tend to operate from a more feminine energy, and as a result, you automatically project approacheability. Your body language tends to respond, causing for you to enter into "feminine flow" – your body relaxes itself and you assume a more open position. Approachability embodies the position of nurturer, and which in turn project gentle femininity.

3.  Three things for you
I want you to get into the practice of doing 3 things for yourself on a daily basis. Feminine energy is very giving (in the emotional way - do not confuse this with the masculine trait of providing). You absolutely cannot give your time and energy to others, if you aren’t primarily giving toward yourself. We don’t all have time for that “self-care” bubble bath, stereotypically depicted when we think of taking time for ourselves. For that reason, my suggestion is more along the lines of simple realistic rituals that can be incorporated on the regular  For example, taking a quick walk, buying yourself that Starbucks coffee, and/or calling your mom/friend/sister. 

4.   Something for your body
I structure this apart from the previous, because I want you to uncompromisably do this everyday. I challenge you to streamline your beauty routine and make it a priority. You don't need to make yourself look like Barbie everyday however I encourage you to commit yourself to getting-ready for the day. I guarantee that once you make this a habit, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. This will also help you feel comfortable in your own body, which will continuously activate your femininity. 

5.    Practice positive interaction
Feminine energy is very invested in connecting with others - the feminine helps bring people together. Simple ways to begin incorporating this into your daily life, would be to add value to your everyday encounters. Practicing active listening is one of the many easy ways to do this. You want to ensure that you are making eye contact with the person you are speaking to. You also want to direct your physical energy toward them – lean forward, turn your body toward them, tilt your head, etc. If you are listening to your significant other or a close family member or friend, you can also gently place your hand on them; physical touch strengthens connection and exudes femininity.

The secret struggle countless women face

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Canada Day, and/or will have a wonderful Fourth of July! Today, I wanted to bring you an authentic "coffee & chat" video. In this video, I am discussing my authentic thoughts on the "plight" of today's woman - striving for perfection and realizing that it is unattainable and unrealistic.

I provide you with some of my background and inspiration for this blog. I also discuss the importance of femininity, homemaking, and sequencing your life based on your priorities.

I would really appreciate it if you would check out the video, subscribe and let me know your thoughts. I truly believe that we should support all women speaking out about these issues- as cheesy as it sound, we are ALL in this together!