How to be Sophisticated

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Sophistication is one of my favorite terms. When I think of the woman I strive to be, this is the ultimate quality that comes to mind. In this short video, I discussed some of the foundational ways in which you can become a sophisticated woman. The goal was not to go extensively in depth, but rather start the conversation. 

Talking about classiness, being ladylike and acting elegantly, are all common topics in the online femininity-sphere. However, seldom few people talk about sophistication. In my opinion, sophistication truly embodies all of these themes yet also connotes a certain element of "levelling-up". When you think of the sophisticated woman you may picture a well-rounded and multidimensional individual.

The following tips are extracted from the video to help you better comprehend some of the things I discussed. Please hit the LIKE button on the video, since it really helps the channel. *In this video I give a shout-out to one of my favorite femininity channels, Inner Beauty TV by Nicole Michelle, who inspired me to talk about Sophistication.


I have already talked at length about the difference between child-likeness and childishness, particularly in my "Feminine Innocence" video. Fascinating Womanhood is another femininity resource that does an excellent job at comparing the two. As sophisticated women, we want to preserve our feminine innocence, but we do not want to be naive like children.

Take the time to evaluate if you are still carrying negative emotional baggage from your childhood or if you possess narcissistic traits, all things that might impede your ability to level-up as a sophisticated woman. I'd also encourage you to think about your wardrobe, your interests, the thing that you say, and ask yourself if you have evolved from childhood. I gave the example of wardrobe; if you're still dressing like you did in 1999, you might want to make some changes. Ask yourself the following question when evaluating your tendencies: "Are you living an extended adolescence?"

Critical Thinking
This is another point that I often preach on my channel. The sophisticated woman is able to look at phenomena/occurrences and the world around her, and is able to question opinions and events. You also want to learn to identify the underlying motives of others by studying basic psychology. This is going to help you develop your mind and emotional resilience, and will enhance your ability to sustain interesting conversation with others.

We often associate the sophisticated woman with higher-education. You don't need to attend a prestigious Ivy League school or have multiple degrees, to develop your intelligence. Make sure that you understand things about the history of your country, then you can progress to exploring other cultures etc. based on your interests. This will again enhance your ability to have sophisticated conversation. 

I want to encourage you to "take the middle road" when it comes to expanding your social circle. What I mean by this, is that I encourage you not to rid yourself of your former friends are you begin levelling-up as a sophisticated woman, because this will impede your feminine ability to nurture relationships.

Another point I made, is that you want to be weary of "the hot girl effect"; you will not be able to surround yourself with like-minded sophisticated people if you are afraid of being friends with people whom you think are better than you in a particular way. Challenge yourself to become more sophisticated, by surrounding yourself with admirable people while also recognizing that you should continue to nurture your original friendships.

As women, we have a negative tendency to gossip and/or "trauma-bond" with others. The sophisticated woman refrains from doing this and instead focuses on positive aspects of conversation. The sophisticated woman is always seeking to improve herself in her relationships. This isn't attainable when we are continuously focusing on the negative. When you eliminate the negative in conversation, you will be challenged to think of new discussion topics. This will therefore push you in the direction of self-improvement and therefore greater sophistication.


I hope you enjoyed another video summary! Stay tuned for more in the up-coming days!

What is Femininity?

Hello lovely friends,
Since we are all on a "quarantine break" for the next few weeks, I thought I'd take some time to summarize a few of my videos and put them into blog form. I will be adding different bits of information in both the video and written forms, therefore I hope that you check out both!


The inspiration for this particular video came from a negative comment that I received, where the reader was propelled to defend femininity as singular to every.particular .woman. Hear me out, it is quite common to see a feminine woman and think that her femininity is unattainable. My goal with this video however, was to explain to you that thereexists a set of definite characteristics associated femininity, reachable for every woman. After all, there wouldn't be a point in teaching femininity if these qualities could not be defined. Read the entire post or watch the video, to truly understand what I mean.

I want you to remember that femininity exists on a type of "range"; in other words, a "spectrum". The opposite of the feminine is the complementary masculine. Think of the color wheel: complementary colors are neither good nor bad, they are simply opposites. Understanding masculinity can better help you understand your own femininity.  A caveat to this is that masculinity and femininity occasionally have overlapping qualities. The difference however, is in the way in which they are enacted/applied. For example, a feminine woman shows confidence in her ability to nurture, whereas a masculine man shows confidence in his ability to lead. Moreover, the feminine might apply a similar quality through the process of doing, yet the masculine would be more focused on an end-goal.

Many women confuse femininity and personality, which is where I believe stems the p.o.v of the commentor. The truth is that you can be similarly feminine to another woman due to the fact that you might possess the same feminine characteristics. The difference lies in your personality, which is the root of the misconception outlined in the beginning. In the video, I used the example of collaboration to illustrate this. We can all possess the feminine trait of collaboration, yet apply it in different contexts based on our personalities. For example, my personality is best suited to collaborate with you through my YouTube channel because I enjoy public speaking, however your application of collaboration may be better expressed in written form. We are both similar in that we possess this feminine trait, yet we differ in our contextual application. Personality and femininity are correlated, but neither is entirely causally linked.

I encourage you to think of developing your femininity similar to the way in which you solve a math problem. There will be one specific answer - equal to the desired feminine trait - however the way in which you solve the math problem will differ; the manner by which you apply this feminine principle in your life may vary. There are thousands of ways that we can live out our feminine traits, however there is an finite end; the possibilities are not endless since we are dealing with worldly concepts, therefore femininity is not inherently uniquely owned by any particular individual.

To conclude, I wanted to touch upon a more socially relevant aspect of misunderstanding in femininity as distinguishable from personality: the "not like other girls" vibe/phenomena/attitude, whatever you want to call it. The overall desire for uniqueness infiltrates our society, to the point that women feel ashamed of being similar to each other; as if there is something inherently wrong with the way in which we express ourselves in a parallel manner with other women. Sadly, we see this pushed in our schools, applauded in society, and depicted in popular media. This message is detrimental to your plight in developing your femininity, because you cannot fully embrace femininity if you are worried about being "like other girls"


The goal of this video was to inspire you to understand that femininity is achievable for all women. It is easy to be discouraged on your journey to developing your femininity, as you may easily fall into the comparison trap. That being said, I hope that this video, and my platform can help you feel less shame in embracing your femininity, even if this makes you "like other girls". Until next time!

How to Dress Feminine

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Hello again lovely friends! Instead of writing a Friday Five post this week, I was busy catching up on all of the missed blog articles for corresponding videos. This post is a summary of one of my most viewed videos on how to dress feminine. I recently posted an updated fall style video on this topic, and I would love for you to view that one as well!

The 80/20 principle
I began the video by essentially explaining the differences between classic and romantic style - the two most dominant types of feminine fashion. Classic style follows that Jackie Kennedy and Grace Kelly type of look; clean lines, solid colors, and sturdy fabrics. Romantic fashion on the other hand, adheres to rather flow-y and unstructured garments - think, the Victorian Era. My personal belief is that a mix of 80/20 between these two types of dress, will provide you with the best balance in your wardrobe. It is also more practical to put the most weight on the classic portion of your wardrobe, due to the simple fact that we can find more of these types of garments in stores.

I accented the importance of seeking to pair colors that are close together on the color-wheel, if you are seeking to mix-and-match colors. I also stated that any color can be paired with neutrals - white or black, for example. You can create complete outfits with blue and pink for example, by pairing different shades.  You will still look "put-together", since you are remaining close on the colour wheel. 

Waist to hip ratio
This is one of the easiest ways to accent a feminine body shape. Opt for tie-waisted dresses and high-waisted skirts. If you do not have that natural hourglass body type, you can create a waist by wearing skirts and dresses with ruffles at the bottom and/or a slip with fabric at the bottom of the trim (think of creating a triangle shape from your waist down). You can also similarly add details such as ruffles to your top, to highlight a smaller waist. It is essentially a game of balance.

This adheres to the 20% of your style, which will be romantic. You can include subtle bows, flutters and ruffles. You can also include floral patterns, however try to keep these as as small as possible. I like to this of this technique, as adding elements of girlishness. 

Remember, living in your feminine means embracing the experience of getting dressed. Try to opt for luxurious fabrics. I also encourage you to vary your wardrobe, with a range of textures and try not to repeat similar textures (with the exclusion of sleepwear and exercise clothing, which can be of the same fabric). An easy way to do this is to "shop with your hands" - touch clothing items as you move through the racks of clothing. The goal is to get your closet to a state of variability and truly embrace the experience of putting on each garment of a different material.

The rule of quite simple: the shorter the dress/skirt, the shorter the heel. I encourage you to buy mid-length heels, as they are the classiest. I also encourage a solid color heel, as it is easiest to match to your outfit and your bag, for a more "pulled together" look. I also mentioned that my recommended casual shoe is the ballet flat.

I love scarves and I recommend adding them to any outfit, to add a pop of color, or to accent the color in focus. The material of the scarf is also important in giving you that luxurious feminine feel.I mentioned my love of hats. You can easily incorporate romantic style by opting for a sunhat with a bow.I encourage you to always opt for balance in your accessories - for example, a big bracelet would necessitate a small necklace (or none) and earrings. 

Personal grooming
This is the basis of all feminine style. You can dress impeccably, but fail to exude femininity if you are not well-groomed. I encourage you to choose one makeup item that you can commit to everyday. I also encourage you to try to wear your hair down, if you find that this style is most flattering for your facial features. 

How to sit like a Lady

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Happy Thursday everyone! I am trying to become more effective in writing the corresponding blog posts as I release my videos. I realize that I have so many to catch up on and I plan on actually sitting down an entire day and getting that work done! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy today's video and post on how to sit like a lady.

This video is a part of my femininity series, but also a subset of videos I began on carrying ourselves in a graceful and elegant way. If you have not yet watched my video on posture (blog post) and feminine walking, I would encourage you to explore those topics first. 

Welcome to my new readers and viewers! It would mean so much to me if you would share my content with a friend who might enjoy it. Being a small influencer, the initial stretch is always the most challenging. My goal with this platform is not personal fame, but to reach as many women as possible with the messages that have indeed changed my life. The bigger we grow, the more I can give back to you! P.S Once we reach 1k on Youtube I have a giveaway planned and I would love to do that at every milestone.

Ensure that you are wearing appropriate clothing. A simple trick would be to actually sit in the dressing room when purchasing clothing. You can also actually place your hands down the garment as a way to ensure that there is enough "wiggle-room". Always keep in mind the context of where you are going and how you will have to sit.

Keep your chest elevated and do not look or veer your torso toward the floor. You want to exude confidence in descending into your chair. A trick instead of looking behind you would be to ensure that you calves are touching the chair and gently reach back to grab the chair before you place your bottom.

Ensure that your knees are always together when sitting. You do not want to expose your private parts (which is why you do not want to keep your legs open). This ranges back to the point I made about vulnerability and the fact that accentuating these regions exudes insecurity. 

Your vertical side angle should be 90 degrees (thighs down to angle).

You want to maintain a fist length between your back and the chair.

Crossing your legs
You can veer your shins to one-side (this is the simplest way). You can choose to cross your legs at your ankles while doing so, or placing your calves one over the other; each movement, always remaining in that side-to-side manner. Please avoid the standard American leg-cross. View the video for more information.

Ensure that your legs are together in that 90 degree angle when standing. Use your hands to push off the chair, if you need the extra assistance.

The Friday Five (September 6th, 2019)

Friday, September 6, 2019

This post almost did not happen. I am completely behind on my to-do list, and I have not even gone on my daily walk today! I might have to settle for some light stretching and a "power-hour" of cleaning along with my favorite cleaning podcast (Clean With Me).

We are heading into the second week of September in a few days (eek), and I wanted to wish you many blessings in this busy season. 

1. I know many of you are going back to school. Throughout my studies, I found One Class to be particularly helpful for note sharing and searching past resources written by students who have already taken a particular course. I also recommend that you search, Rate My Professors, to know the level of difficulty and testing style of your professor. Do not be afraid to switch class times before the dropout date. Finally, recording lectures on your smartphone can help you study and summarize your notes more effectively (make sure your professor allows it). 

2. I am packing away my summer clothes, and I am feelin' all the feels. Spring and Summer are my favorite seasons. I talked about my issue with fall, in my previous Friday Five post. Speaking of packing, I have found that stuffing scarves into purses helps them keep their shape when putting them into boxes for storage. In addition, the cheapest storage bins are definitely found at Walmart and/or Canadian Tire (I know, I have moved 3 times in 3 years LOL).

3. I have been loving hair bows, and have begun incorporating them into my wardrobe. You can surprisingly find a good variety of them at Dollar Tree (you all know I love this store). I am still on the fence about those trending pearl clips - I will get back to you on that one.

4. It is time to incorporate darker lip colors as we transition into fall. I am planning on wearing the "Stay all day MATTE'ificent Lipstick" from Stila (shade: Framboise). I basically like all my makeup products to be of a matte finish. I find that it gives my face a type of 1950s glamour- matte makeup is so timeless. 

5. I spent about an hour thrifting for Fall clothing today. I have already ranted about the fun and importance of thrifting. I am so grateful that my husband and I have been financially blessed throughout these past few years. We are at a place where we do not have to shop this way, however, I will always continue to thrift regardless of income level. Thrifting is environmentally friendly and a certain percentage of the purchase usually goes toward a good cause. I encourage you to consider thrifting. 

Homemake with me - My Afternoon

Monday, September 2, 2019

If my Youtube video brought you here, welcome! If you are a continuous reader of this blog, I would love it if you would check-out my videos.

Today's post is a summary of Monday's video. If you enjoyed this post or video, I would be so grateful if you would hit the "like" button - it really helps grow the community of women supporting the homemaking and femininity movement. 

Homemake with me
1. I love buying and using more "natural" cleaning products. I used a store-brand all-purpose cleaner today, and my usual Method Daily Granite. 

2. I encourage you to buy flowers while grocery shopping, especially if you find this to be one of your least favorite chores. You can usually revive sale flowers, using your own sugar/water mixture or the one provided in bouquets.

3. I mentioned in a previous post, that I derive my handy-dandy-notebook inspiration from an Instagram homemaker called, "Mrs. Hinch". I like to write all of my tasks for the day, including bills I need to pay in my notebook. 

4. I mentioned how Dyson has an excellent customer service center. They are pretty pricey

5. I bought my olive oil dispenser from the Dollar Tree.

6. I love writing my favorite recipes in my Kate Spade recipe book. 

7. I learned the concept of shining my sink from FlyLady. I do this every evening. 

8. I spoke to you about my minimalism journey, briefly. Adopting a minimalist mindset has helped relieved my anxiety and focus on what truly matters in my life. 

9. I do at least one load of laundry per day. I like to use the baskets from the Dollar Tree - one of these small baskets fits a 

10. I talked about how I love my Airpods. I think they are worth the price. I use them while doing housework; I listen to music and podcasts. 

11. I chatted with you about the importance of being nice to others. 

12. Lasagna recipe: Italian sausage + ground beef, garlic to taste, 1-2 cans of crushed tomatoes, 1-2 cans of tomato paste, chicken broth, 2 tbsp sugar, basil + fennel seed + pepper + salt and oregano to taste, mozzarella, parmesan, lasagna noodles

filling: 1 container of ricotta + 2 eggs, nutmeg, parsley to taste

*you have to adjust most of these measurements depending on the size of your lasagna

The Friday Five (August 30th, 2019)

Friday, August 30, 2019

Happy Friday lovely friends! Tomorrow is going to be a day full of yard work - I am mentally preparing for it, haha. I treated myself to hiring house cleaners this morning, and I am so happy that I did. Having the inside of my house tackled and perfected by professionals, has been such a treat. We finally finished renovating our house, and are putting together all of the final touches. As much as I love cleaning to relieve anxiety, I sometimes need a little bit of help. 

Image result for september wreath yellow1. I noticed that there exists a phenomena, whereby millennials associate having dogs as replacements for children. There are particular reasons why I do not have children yet, and I hope to someday soon! I am definitely sorry if my "dog vlog" perpetuated this stereotype - it was not my intention. 

2. I pulled out my autumn wreath, but I am not quite ready to put it up. I might purchase myself a more yellow-tone wreath as a consolation for this in-between month. I am thinking something like this. If I do end up purchasing one, I will be sure to show it on Instagram stories. 

3. As the weather turns slightly cooler, I find myself craving comfort food. You can find some of my favorite recipes on my Pinterest board. This week, I cooked a large batch of lasagna. I would love to know your comfort food recipes. 

4. I'm going to be honest and say that I usually dread the end of summer. The transition of seasons always brings me feelings of dread. I associate fall with all of the negative back-to-school feelings. I was always one to overachieve in the realm of academics, and as a result, suffered from debilitating anxiety throughout my years of study. As some of you know, I studied and worked in a STEM field. There IS a reason why few people "make it" through these degrees; these programs are actually designed to pit overachieving students against each other in pursuit of advanced degrees. Despite what the internet trolls say (LOL), I did indeed graduate Sum cum laude. I however sacrificed so much of my well-being in this pursuit, as I unhealthily tied my identity to scholastic achievements. 

Perhaps I will get more into this some other day, but for now I wanted to give you some context on the feelings I will be experiencing in the upcoming months. September is an unusually difficult month for me, and I WILL be pulling out my anxiety workbook. 

5. I am spending my Friday afternoon scrolling through juicers on Amazon - I know, I am a nerd. I used my Jack Lalanne Power Juicer until it burned out - I am not kidding, it was actually smoking. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Juicing has tremendously helped me clear up my skin and alleviate cravings. I have not had the chance to juice this summer, and would love to get back into it.

Wishing you all a relaxing weekend!