What is Femininity?

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Hello lovely friends,
Since we are all on a "quarantine break" for the next few weeks, I thought I'd take some time to summarize a few of my videos and put them into blog form. I will be adding different bits of information in both the video and written forms, therefore I hope that you check out both!


The inspiration for this particular video came from a negative comment that I received, where the reader was propelled to defend femininity as singular to every.particular .woman. Hear me out, it is quite common to see a feminine woman and think that her femininity is unattainable. My goal with this video however, was to explain to you that thereexists a set of definite characteristics associated femininity, reachable for every woman. After all, there wouldn't be a point in teaching femininity if these qualities could not be defined. Read the entire post or watch the video, to truly understand what I mean.

I want you to remember that femininity exists on a type of "range"; in other words, a "spectrum". The opposite of the feminine is the complementary masculine. Think of the color wheel: complementary colors are neither good nor bad, they are simply opposites. Understanding masculinity can better help you understand your own femininity.  A caveat to this is that masculinity and femininity occasionally have overlapping qualities. The difference however, is in the way in which they are enacted/applied. For example, a feminine woman shows confidence in her ability to nurture, whereas a masculine man shows confidence in his ability to lead. Moreover, the feminine might apply a similar quality through the process of doing, yet the masculine would be more focused on an end-goal.

Many women confuse femininity and personality, which is where I believe stems the p.o.v of the commentor. The truth is that you can be similarly feminine to another woman due to the fact that you might possess the same feminine characteristics. The difference lies in your personality, which is the root of the misconception outlined in the beginning. In the video, I used the example of collaboration to illustrate this. We can all possess the feminine trait of collaboration, yet apply it in different contexts based on our personalities. For example, my personality is best suited to collaborate with you through my YouTube channel because I enjoy public speaking, however your application of collaboration may be better expressed in written form. We are both similar in that we possess this feminine trait, yet we differ in our contextual application. Personality and femininity are correlated, but neither is entirely causally linked.

I encourage you to think of developing your femininity similar to the way in which you solve a math problem. There will be one specific answer - equal to the desired feminine trait - however the way in which you solve the math problem will differ; the manner by which you apply this feminine principle in your life may vary. There are thousands of ways that we can live out our feminine traits, however there is an finite end; the possibilities are not endless since we are dealing with worldly concepts, therefore femininity is not inherently uniquely owned by any particular individual.

To conclude, I wanted to touch upon a more socially relevant aspect of misunderstanding in femininity as distinguishable from personality: the "not like other girls" vibe/phenomena/attitude, whatever you want to call it. The overall desire for uniqueness infiltrates our society, to the point that women feel ashamed of being similar to each other; as if there is something inherently wrong with the way in which we express ourselves in a parallel manner with other women. Sadly, we see this pushed in our schools, applauded in society, and depicted in popular media. This message is detrimental to your plight in developing your femininity, because you cannot fully embrace femininity if you are worried about being "like other girls"


The goal of this video was to inspire you to understand that femininity is achievable for all women. It is easy to be discouraged on your journey to developing your femininity, as you may easily fall into the comparison trap. That being said, I hope that this video, and my platform can help you feel less shame in embracing your femininity, even if this makes you "like other girls". Until next time!

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