Why be feminine?

Friday, July 19, 2019

Hello lovely friends! I am slightly behind on the blog posts since I have been working on new video content for the upcoming weeks. I am hoping to get three new entries up for you in the upcoming days. I have noticed that the traffic on the blog has increased, and I am so happy to see that our little community is growing!

If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube Channel, I would absolutely love it if you did! Every time I refresh my feed and see a new follower/comment/like from one of you, it makes my heart burst with joy! I am so passionate about the movement that we are trying to make on this platform and I am so blessed to know you likeminded women.

Now, let's dive in to the topic of this entry/video. There is so much valuable advice on the internet about the ways you can express your femininity. What I have noticed however, is that there exists a lack of reasoning as to why we should seek to develop our femininity. 

My journey into discovering and developing my femininity happened as a result of burnout. As someone who went through this very turbulent time, I am always seeking to help prevent women from finding themselves in a similar situation. For this reason, I am hoping that the following tips will serve as basis for motivation on your journey in developing your femininity. I encourage you to go through the Femininity section on my blog after reading this, since it will help you take the next steps. 

Before I proceed, I want to acknowledge the importance of femininity and masculinity as complementary. This is a wonderful thing - just take a look at scientific law (opposites attract). One is not meant to be inherently better than the other. The issue lies more in the concept of balance. Operating from overpowering masculine energy as a biological female is going to, on average, take a toll on your spirit and mental health, due to the simple nature of not living in alignment with who you were born to be.

I am aware of the femininity and masculinity as a social construct debate, and this entry isn't meant to explore that topic... today. For the purpose of our conversation we are going to assume that, on average, women are designed to operate largely from their feminine energy. This does not mean that we do not possess masculine energy. Again, we are dealing with the issue of balance. Our personal balance may differ from someone else’s, even though we may share the same sex. The goal in developing our femininity is to discover our own perfect balance.

As we "progressed" through the 20th century, there existed a movement for the rejection of femininity. Femininity was determined to be a contributor in women’s oppression - women were believed to have been trapped by their feminine traits. Masculine traits are largely associated with monetary gain in our modern word; therefore, it is only rational that many women pushed aside their femininity in the pursuit of traits that allowed them to achieve societal success. The issue lies in the fact that very few people stopped to think about the repercussions of this rapid movement or to question if it indeed led to true happiness. In my opinion, we merely traded in the shackles of femininity for the constraints of a job. In my eyes, this doesn't exactly spell-out liberation. 

When you think about it, we are kind of living in a large social experiment when it comes to women living in their masculine. Masculine traits in females is a phenomena that is so now so heavily praised, that it makes it difficult for women to find a safe space to nurture their femininity. Many of us don’t even know where to start, as we are perpetually engrained with the notion that our femininity is a form of weakness contributing to our oppression. We could probably talk about the origins and societal implications of this all day, but that would require a longer entry/video. There are countless others that make an excellent argument on this topic out in the YouTube and blogging world and I encourage you to go look for them. 

Without further ado, here are a few reasons I believe developing your femininity is a worthwhile endeavour.

Why be feminine? 

1.     Feminine Power
Activating your feminine side garners you a type of freedom. When you are living in alignment with the way in which you body was created, you are living your truest life - a life that will provide you with a sense of wholeness.

Biologically, women are the physically weaker sex, but this does not mean that they are not powerful. Female power is now often confused with masculine traits: muscles, access to financial resources, competition, progress. Desiring these things isn't always a negative thing, but they do impede us from living femininely if they remain the only ways in which we measure our success.

Living in your feminine will allow you to harness your biology to your advantage. Fostering deep bonds, influencing others through genuine compassion, etc., are all examples of feminine power. Having the ability to bring people together is very manipulative (good and bad). Once you activate your feminine power, you will be surprised to see how some of your deepest desires will come to fruition through the magnetism of being able to bring people together.

2. Relationships
If you are wary about living in your feminine, I challenge you to atleast strive to do so in your intimate relationship. You don’t have to believe me when I say that it is an excellent way to build a strong marriage; I challenge you to look at the data and try it yourself. We can see that when men and women rank higher on the respective masculinity and femininity scales, they report greater marital satisfaction. In fact women and men used to be prescribed behaviour modification therapy to help them develop their femininity and masculinity as a tool to improve their marriage. Call this a product of "old times", but its success does speak for itself in some capacity.

*I would caution you to practice good scientific inquiry when looking at some newer data, simply due to the underlying bias in current academia.*

Success in marriage and relationships can be attributed to the fact that masculinity and femininity are equal and complementary. One is not controlling the other - they are merely working together, filling in personality gaps (strengths/weaknesses). Please throw away your belief that masculinity is inherently controlling- you are mistaking masculine leadership for sociopathic greed.

There are many positive characteristics of femininity that adhere to simply being a good person; an example of this would be compassion. The basis of good relationships is rooted in selflessness, and this is a rather feminine trait. 

In addition, women are givers of many things, particularly love, and we are also receivers of masculine provision. This does not have to necessarily mean that your man must be the provider of money, but could rather mean provider of love and attention. When you are operating completely from masculine energy, it is incredibly difficult to receive from your significant other. Living too much in your masculine will be energetically draining, as your will be continuously “fighting” your way through life and your intimate relationship. Two individuals operating from the same energy is bound to cause conflict; again, we are dealing with laws of physics (like repels like).

3. Homemaking
Femininity will help you become a better homemaker due to the nature of the tasks themselves. Creativity is an obvious feminine trait that can benefit your homemaking - for example, beautifying your surroundings and being resourceful. If you’re married or preparing for marriage, this is a huge asset for your husband. Opposite to what culture depicts of the wife who spends her rich husband's money, masculine, successful men do not condone frivolousness and they tend to be very concerned with successful long-term financial decisions. Your lack of care toward money will not impress this man.

In addition, homemaking has to do with exercising the practice of “caring for” things and people. You can discipline yourself in learned homemaking skills, to exercise a higher standard of “caring for”. Caring is not synonymous with compassion, but careful habits can lead to the development of strengths that elicit this virtue.

A day in the life of a housewife

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Happy Sunday my lovely friends! If you hadn't had the chance to check-out my Vlog (posted about a week ago), I linked it down below. It takes you through a rather atypical day in my life - I had minimal chores to do, ran one errand (went to the grocery store) and tried a new facial (Silk Peel). My typical days tend to be slightly dull and very busy - I will show you that another time. 

I'd love for you to watch it and subscribe to my channel! This was a rather "fun" video. Liking and commenting on videos like these, helps other women find the more "important" topics on my channel; I wanted to thank all of you who had done so. I am so happy to have chatted with all of you new followers! Wishing you so much love and happiness as you begin the new week! 

As always, here is the quick run-down of the video, for all those of who you prefer reading. :)

A day in the life of a housewife
1. I always begin my day with a morning walk. My dogs are very energetic, if you haven't noticed by the barking in my videos (LOL). 

2. I don't usually curl my hair on the regular, but I decided to do so today. I use a basic Conair curling iron. 

3. I knew I would be "out and about" today, so I opted to cook a crockpot dinner. You can find the recipe here. I usually eat pita bread and hummus for lunch - I sometimes eat the hummus with veggies, if I have fresh ones available. I like to make myself a larger salad for dinner to go along with the main course overnight. 

4. If you watched my first Vlog, you will know that I use the Method Daily Granite Cleaner almost everyday. I love the smell of this stuff. 

5. My errands consisted of visiting the post office and then grabbing a few items at the grocery store. I usually make a quick shop in the middle of my week, to stock up on items that are running low and/or fresh produce. I do a larger weekly shop on Fridays or Saturdays. I mentioned that I absolutely love the One Coffee brand - plus, it's organic and Fair Trade. 

6. I got a Silk Peel facial that day. You can find out more about it here. My skin felt very dewy afterward. It made a difference in terms of the blackheads in my cheek area. I am going to begin getting this every month (long-term review interest anyone?). 

7. I brought you through my daily cleaning routine. I unloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed and washed the floors and washed my sink with Vim (I don't recommend this harsh of a product if you wash produce in your sink). 

I like to use the Bissell Crosswave Pet for those everyday cleanings - I prefer to detail clean my floors with a swimmer, whenever possible. I would however recommend it, since it is a time-saver. 

8. I briefly mentioned my "holy grail" notebook, that I use to organize my everyday life. I will share this with you in an upcoming video. Please "like" the video to let me know that you're interested in seeing that!

How to have good conversation

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Hello lovely virtual friends! If you had the chance to watch the video I posted yesterday, THANK YOU! For those of you who prefer reading, I wrote this complementary blog post on the topic. It appears that most people currently enjoy the blog more than video, based on the fact that I'm still getting much more traffic on my website in comparison - perhaps you don't like my voice (I'd like to think it's rather the fact that you enjoy reading, LOL). 

If you haven't had the chance to visit my youtube channel, please do! If you like anything you see, please "like" and "subscribe", since it helps other women find my message. I cannot express how grateful I am to all of you! :) 

The topic of yesterday's video deals with having good conversation. This is an essential component of good homemaking and developing your femininity, since both are rather "people-centric". The purposeful homemaker - and the feminine woman - "cares for" her home, in addition to those who inhabit it. It is quite evident that people will not want to be present in your home and/or your social sphere, if you cannot have good conversation. Developing good conversation skills is therefore a foundational concept in purposeful homemaking and exuding feminine energy. 

I share these tips in the video:

1. Body language
I encouraged you to imagine that you have an invisible line parallel to the tips of your shoulders. You want to try to keep your hands and arms outside of these set points, to assume an open and feminine position. You do not want to cross your arms in front of you, nor place them below your belly-button (in your private area). You want to imagine that you are being pulled-up by a string on the top of your head, so that your chest can remain in an open position. 

We must be aware of the fact that we are animalistic beings, and must operate with that in mind. Failing to keep an open position, signals to the other person that you are not ready to receive their message and make connection with them. Be able to receive energy from another is a very feminine attribute.

2. Minimize distraction
Remember to make eye-contact and look at that person from the neck/chest upward. When you are looking at other parts of a person's body during conversation, you are essentially demonstrating that you are pre-occupied with something else of greater importance. You want to minimize the use of your phone, engaging in abrupt body movement, and/or causing any significant noise distraction. If you are awaiting an important call/message, make sure to excuse yourself beforehand.

3. Ask prompting questions 
Many of us think we know how to ask effective conversational questions. The truth is however, that we often fail to ask questions that prompt further conversation. The example I used was not to solely ask someone about their favorite hobby, but rather to ask them what they enjoy doing in their free time. This gateway question will allow for you to later ask a variety of more detailed prompting questions.

4. Do not dominate the conversation
Calming your mental dialogue is a skill. We are often busy thinking of the next thing to say in conversation. Calm your mind by taking a breath and counting up to 2 - this will help you refocus on what the person is saying.

5. Smile
I structured this apart from body language, because it is a much more simplistic thing to do. You may still be working on breaking those bad body language habits, but it is much easier to incorporate smiling into conversation as you are simultaneously working on those other skills. 

In addition, smiling exudes feminine energy, which breeds feelings of comfort. This allows for excellent conversation.

How to be more feminine... NOW

Monday, July 8, 2019

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Fourth of July and/or Canada day! If you are in a different country and did not celebrate those, I am wishing you a wonderful week! :) Thank you to all of my new subscribers and followers. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am, and how excited I am to grow our community. If you haven't yet subscribed to my new youtube channel, I would love it if you did! :) 

Today, I wanted to share with you some general tips that will help you exude femininity in your daily life – some tips that you can apply in your life NOW. The core areas that must be developed when striving to be complete feminine woman are extensive and must be developed over time. For today however, I thought I would share with you 5 practical ways in which you can begin expressing your femininity. Beginning these actions will help you feel empowered in your journey toward further developing your femininity, as they will enable you to feel an immediate sense of accomplishment.  

As always, if you prefer to watch the video, you can do so below. As you may have noticed, by videos and blog posts are similar but not quite identical - my goal is that you take away something unique from each. 

1.   Relax
To generate a clearer picture of the way in which you should be striving to be as a feminine woman, can sometimes be accomplished by thinking of the opposite. The opposite tends to feel rushed, pushy and always "on the go". Operating from a place of continuous action, in comparison to being present in the moment – easing through the tasks in your life with a genre of effortless flow. This does not deal with laziness, but is rather characterized by your leading attitude. Apart from perhaps re-evaluating if you are stretching yourself too thin, there are things that you can do today that will help you better relax. I strongly recommend becoming familiar with the practices that help reduce anxiety – deep breathing, muscle tension exercises, body scan meditation. A quick google search of these, and you are well on your way. 

2.    Smile
This adheres to the practice of "faking it until you make it"; in a positive way. When I used to perform professionally I would make a point to smile and simultaneously let out a subtle laugh. Even though I was completely nerve-wracked, the more I smiled and practiced laughing, the more this habit became a ritual. 

The mere act of smiling tends to trick your body into thinking that you are actually happy. The physicality of it - triggering muscles in the face - releases endorphins that in turn actually make you feel joyful  Whether you have to smile by yourself in a bathroom stall or at your phone pretending your looking at a funny video, I challenge you to practice smiling.

When you radiate happiness you tend to operate from a more feminine energy, and as a result, you automatically project approacheability. Your body language tends to respond, causing for you to enter into "feminine flow" – your body relaxes itself and you assume a more open position. Approachability embodies the position of nurturer, and which in turn project gentle femininity.

3.  Three things for you
I want you to get into the practice of doing 3 things for yourself on a daily basis. Feminine energy is very giving (in the emotional way - do not confuse this with the masculine trait of providing). You absolutely cannot give your time and energy to others, if you aren’t primarily giving toward yourself. We don’t all have time for that “self-care” bubble bath, stereotypically depicted when we think of taking time for ourselves. For that reason, my suggestion is more along the lines of simple realistic rituals that can be incorporated on the regular  For example, taking a quick walk, buying yourself that Starbucks coffee, and/or calling your mom/friend/sister. 

4.   Something for your body
I structure this apart from the previous, because I want you to uncompromisably do this everyday. I challenge you to streamline your beauty routine and make it a priority. You don't need to make yourself look like Barbie everyday however I encourage you to commit yourself to getting-ready for the day. I guarantee that once you make this a habit, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. This will also help you feel comfortable in your own body, which will continuously activate your femininity. 

5.    Practice positive interaction
Feminine energy is very invested in connecting with others - the feminine helps bring people together. Simple ways to begin incorporating this into your daily life, would be to add value to your everyday encounters. Practicing active listening is one of the many easy ways to do this. You want to ensure that you are making eye contact with the person you are speaking to. You also want to direct your physical energy toward them – lean forward, turn your body toward them, tilt your head, etc. If you are listening to your significant other or a close family member or friend, you can also gently place your hand on them; physical touch strengthens connection and exudes femininity.

The secret struggle countless women face

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Canada Day, and/or will have a wonderful Fourth of July! Today, I wanted to bring you an authentic "coffee & chat" video. In this video, I am discussing my authentic thoughts on the "plight" of today's woman - striving for perfection and realizing that it is unattainable and unrealistic.

I provide you with some of my background and inspiration for this blog. I also discuss the importance of femininity, homemaking, and sequencing your life based on your priorities.

I would really appreciate it if you would check out the video, subscribe and let me know your thoughts. I truly believe that we should support all women speaking out about these issues- as cheesy as it sound, we are ALL in this together!

Activating your femininity // dominant energy and balance

Friday, June 28, 2019

Hello! If you had the chance to check out my Youtube channel, I just wanted to give you a big thank you! I am so appreciative of all of you that take the time to visit this site. :)

To begin this journey I wanted to create a video on the topic of femininity. As someone who has been secretly studying femininity and homemaking for over three years, I feel as though it's finally time to come out of the closet on these issues. Thankfully there already exists a slew of women discussing this topic on the internet nowadays which is ab-so-lu-tely wonderful.

Considering that feminine nature is very giving (after all, mothers provide food for their children with their own bodies), I feel as though you cannot be giving in your homemaking and your relationship with the people that live in your home, without seeking to incorporate and balance your feminine energy.

Without getting into too much of my personal backstory - I can save the entire story for another entry - I thought it would be relevant to get into the real "meat and potatoes" from the beginning. As you read and watch the video it'll paint a better picture of why I chose to address femininity from in this manner, and will share with you glimpses of my personal journey (dealing with burnout) in helping me balance my dominant and feminine energy.

Now, on to today's topic: Activating your femininity as a dominant woman. Even if you don't consider yourself a "dominant" woman, I challenge you to question that fact. Chances are, if you're an active participant in our modern society, you might indeed be living your life from said dominating perspective. As adaptable beings, it is only normal for us to change our way of acting and thinking to best enable our survival in our given environment. Today's modern environment is pushy, quickened, and rather harsh. If you're at all familiar with feminine qualities - the embodiment of a a giving spirit - you know that these are sadly not seen as practical in many modern situations (I wish it weren't the case, but here we are). This environment may have caused you to express heightened dominance, and/or let that side of yourself take over all aspects of your life. A great marker of relevance would be to ask yourself, "How are your relationships? How are your energy levels?". If the answer includes something along the lines of, "not so great", than you may need to re-evaluate the energy in which you are leading from.

I believe that we all have the ability to "fend for ourselves" and express that dominant energy when needed - think of the fight-or-flight response. However, living our lives in this continuous state can have very negative repercussions, affecting our physical and emotional well-being. Some women are naturally more dominant than others, but this does not mean that they should not seek to flourish in their femininity. As a biological female, chances are that your core energy is feminine - irregardless of if you are capable of expressing greater dominant energy. For this reason among the others listed, it is imperative that you remain in-tune and balanced with your feminine energy in order to get the most out of life.

Here are 3 tips to help activate your femininity 

(think of this as the Coles Notes version*)

1. Seek flow
Re-evaluate your dominant and aggressive thoughts and replace the internal dialogue with more calming thought. Distract yourself and begin to incorporate ease and relaxation through exercise - for example, yoga, swimming and nature walks. I also encourage you to re-write the narrative of your thoughts. An easy way to do this would be to process those thoughts from the point of view of, "What is the worst that could happen?". I guarantee that once you deduce the likelihood of said thing occurring, you will realize that your driving fears are rather unrealistic.

2. Incorporate thoughtfulness
Figure out the "love languages" (not in a romantic way unless it's toward your spouse) of those you love. The feminine spirit thrives off of the act of giving to others (relating back to the importance of thriving through. You will reap immense benefit from experiencing the joy of others as you express your generosity.

3. Take care of yourself
This varies from person to person depending on your interests. This might mean taking care of your mind and/or physical appearance. You cannot be giving to others without developing that giving habit toward yourself.

I hope you enjoyed reading and watching this topic. Stay tuned for the next video! 

Clean with me! // quick bathroom clean

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Hello everyone! Today, I wanted to share with you my quick bathroom cleaning routine. This is the most used bathroom in my home. It must be cleaned about twice per week. Once our basement bathroom is completely renovated, I am hoping that this one can be reserved solely for guests - hence, it will not be as dirty. I have developed a streamline approach to cleaning this bathroom - it takes me 15-20 minutes. I actually did this after I woke up at around 6am.

Quick Bathroom Cleaning Routine

1. *I will usually vacuum before I begin the routine, however I did not want to wake my dogs up at 6am.

2. I begin by decluttering my bathroom. I would say this is the most important step. You cannot clean anything without getting rid of the physical obstacles in your way. This means, get things off of your counters and out of your shower. I usually put them in the corner or hallway for the time being - I like to place them on a dirty towel that I throw in the laundry afterward. 

3. I use my Method Bathroom Tub & Tile Cleaner in Eucalyptus Mint and a basic sponge from the Dollar Tree to scrub my shower. I make sure to scrub all of the edges where buildup tends to occur. I use paper towel for sanitary reasons (not to spread around the germs).

4. I use a generic vinegar and water mix, also from the Dollar Tree, to wipe down the glass and hardware in my shower. I am looking for a good stainless steel cleaner - please leave me your recommendations!

5. I will dust my toilet with one of those Swiffer Sweeper Dry Cloths (I know it's weird, but I like be able to manipulate it with hand, versus a feather duster).

6. I use multiples of the Seventh Generation Lemongrass Citrus Multi-Surface Disinfecting Wipes to clean my toilet. They have a very earthy smell, but I love them (I like to use natural products when possible). I also use the Lysol Action Gel in "Country Scent" to scrub my toilet. I leave my toilet brush hanging between the rim and seat of the toilet (place the cover down) to let it dry.

7. I spray the glass and Method Bathroom Cleaner all over my sink and mirrors. I start from the top and work my way down (an easy cleaning tip for you there). I occasionally like to spray my sinks and let them sit while I clean my shower, but I hadn't remembered to do that this morning (it was early).

8. I dust my baseboards again with the Swiffer Sweeper Dry Cloths and the clean my floors from floor cleaning wipes from the Dollar Tree - any type would do. I make sure to get into the corners and behind the toilet.

9. I use the Method All Purpose Cleaner in French Lavender to spray my cabinet (mine are not wood - if yours are, I would recommend using a wood cleaning product). I also use this to spray my door.

10. I make sure to place the toilet brush back in its holder after letting it dry for a few minutes, and I put in a Lysol Click Gel in Spring Waterfall. I used a disposable shopping bag to put all of my trash throughout the routine - this makes it easier to put into the larger trash can.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I am so thankful for all those of you who have taken the time to watch my other videos and read my other blog posts! :)